~ Unwritten Love ~

I can see it now, you and me, holding hands walking side by side.

The love of your heart in mine, and my heart in your hands.

The stars so bright it seems to light up the night sky.

This is love that set the sky, that set the fire in our hearts, that brought the trust to our souls.

That made us crazy, that made us laugh.

That made us drunk, and wildly young.

That brought those silly stories, and the goofyness of each other.

The happiness we both seek to find and the joy of sharing it.

Is this the beginning, or is it a dream?

The texting at night and smiling when i recieve your text.

The daydreaming and the distraction.

The beauty and the wonder.

The eyes of the follower, and the marks of a dreamer.

The casual remarks, and the usual friend remarks.

The willingness to stay in contact and build a relationship.

The patience to wait, and be content.

The courage to say anything and everything.

To understand each other and care.

To live and let go.

To think beyond measures, and live in the present.

This is the close encounters of our love.

This is the friendship that we share.

This is the contagious love sick crackheads we are.

This is us, and it is beyond wonder.

~Thoughts For Today~

So today is April 25, 2012, and I have decided to get back to reading my books, that are laying on my shelf. I have started up reading A series Of Unfortunate Events, book 11, The Grim Grotto. Yea I'm almost done with the series but is looking for books 12 and 13, they are the hardest books to find knowing they are newer. But that's ok I'll just read other books until I find those two. I also plan to read all the Nicholas Sparks books that I got then get his two newer books. And then there's some books that I would like to read again, like The Guardian and The Lovely Bones.

So I mean once I get back in the groove of reading I'm sure I'll be doing that more then going on my iPod and Facebook. Well I need to stop anyways, but I got some distractions that get in the way. Lol, but who doesn't? I used to read all the time when we didn't have Internet and that was nice. Then we got Internet and now I'm on it all the time. Not that I don't like texting Will 24/7, lol.

I just need to do other stuff too and not lose my eye sight because I look at a screen too much. Haha right.

Sometimes I swear I don't have a life. It occurs to me that I don't do anything but sit and text, but everyone had their addictions. Yes and I'm saying mine is pretty bad, and I need to stop, and just do something else for a change..

So anyways this is just what I was thinking today, and just thought I'd share it with you people. Any comments on this?

Well thanks for reading.
-Melly

Mixed up Feelings

Sometimes I just don't know how I feel. And sometimes I do.
It's all mixed up, and sometimes weird.
It's crazy at times and lovely at other times.
Sometimes I feel lost, and don't know what I'm doing.
Sometimes I just don't think so.
Sometimes it's ok and sometimes it's not.

And then I don't know anymore. And fear everything.
Sometimes I just need to stop talking to you and think.
Sometimes I can't. It's all different at times, and then I can't tell you.
Sometimes... Sometimes... I just don't know.
Should I let it go?

Should I not?
Should I be confronted?
Should I tell?

I just don't know... I don't know why. I don't know how. I cannot tell.
This is why I call it the mixed up
feelings, that haunt me.
They feed on me, they get me, and cut me. They are me.

These are the feelings I cannot take.
This is me. This is all of me. This is how I am.

This is the haunted tangle in which I see.... This is how I see it.

Non Existing

There is no where I can go now.
I am too lost to see past it.
I am lost in everything, have I lost myself?
It seems unclear to me, and I've forsaken it.
It no longer exists.

Nothing At all. I have truely lost it.
I can only walk away.
And cry in spite of myself.

It is no longer in the middle now it's just hiding in the inside. Never to show. And no where to go.

I can run but I can't hide from the things that despise me. I am now hidden from my destiny. The beginning of no return.

I shrink inside to the shallow cave of no end.

This is the scared up end.....

Shattered Secrets

Secrets are hidden from deep inside.
Lost in the deep of despair.
Hiding and why?
The feelings break inside of me, cringing, crying, fearing.
It breaks my heart you didn't tell me, why were u keeping this from me?
I thought we told each other everything, I thought I knew you.

But I was wrong. You turned your back on me and left me in the cold. You cringed the friendship, and jerked me off. You were so someone that I thought Was there for me.

But you changed all so much. Now I leave you and my lost thoughts, my questions go unanswered. You seem to be gone. You tried to take what was mine, that I held so dear.

You tried to take me away. For I don't know the reason why you did this. Why you thought that and why you didn't tell me.

I'm lost forever in doubt, not knowing if I'll be coming back. I turn to look back but take no chances, for there is no chances for you.

I'm gone, your lost. And I have nothing to say to you. You broke me, you shattered me, and you kept hidden.

Don't come back, because I'm gone.

The Line of Thought

My heart is pounding now that I've seen what I've done, and who I shown myself to be. I listen to the conversation and can't bear to listen any longer. They havent heard it at all, but now I've seen what I've done.

A flaw, a miserable one. Doing absolutely everything wrong.. Regretting it...
But knowing what is to come I fear for myself isn't that string and could never make it. The words running through my mind, the constant nagging. And then I can feel myself believing...

Im stuck and now I'm hopeless and drowning. How did I let myself get this way? Why did I do what I did? Am I hopeless now, in the sight of myself?

The running of my thoughts breaks my mind, shattering every piece of hope. Nothing is left... My mind has perished and now thinks these lies, that I have not known for months. Turning back would just ruin myself, but moving forward is tangled.

My mind Is nothing, and so am I... I leave in mourn and leave my future behind.. Will I see it again? Thats the question that goes missing..

The broken shame

as you tried to run away.

The scared and frightened person that still seems to haunt me now and then.
Brings me back to the woods where you were killed. The scars still lay upon my heart, and the tragedy you put me through.

My bones being as broken as your heart was. I still didn't feel your pain. All is left is your self image and your sad remarks. The bones of the broken and the self less, the memories no longer with me.

I leave you now, I will not return. Bury yourself and hide your name. For this is what you get when you go insane and leave me in pain.

This is the end of you, but not of me, and I won't be coming back until you fade with the scars of your heart, and the secrets of your sacred beginning.

For this is the end.... Not the beginning.