Despair?

The feeling overwhelms me
And lost at what it is.
I sit in dismay....
Just wanting to cry
For no apparent reason?
Trying not to cry...

And listening to all the sad songs
Not knowing how it happened...
I think...
I can't figure it out.
Was it buried feelings deep down?
Was it something non existent?
Was it deeper then I will find out?

The thoughts and questions linger...
And no answers seem to come.....
I think I am truly lost...
Out of the uncertain and in despair
For something I don't even figure..
Have I gone under?
How long will it last?

Deep deep down.. There is no clue.
I'm lost... Lost forever?
I cry inside myself.
And hide in the mysteries...
Of life's untouchables.

Inovality

In time im excited
And scared
It's something new
Something I'll have never experienced
And I'm here and I'm there
I'm upset and I'm mad
I'm happy, then I'm sad

Yelling at you.
Then tears seem to fall.
Realizing the pain
Then the fall
Then coming back to it all
Wrapping it up, cursing in the air.
Hitting the pavement.
Breaking my fall.

Forgiving and trying to forget
Slipping my fingers right through
the unseen.
Looking at you right through your eyes
My heart beating...
Calling out the words I cannot speak

Shushing at words I might say
Then realizing you need to hear it
If I don't say it now, you will never understand
The words come out
And then it gets better
Then you realize what you did...
And the message becomes clear

But more than ever you apologize.
With Im sorry....
And for that I love you!
Because I can never say I don't.
For you are the love of my life, and I won't let you go.
You'll stay here with me forever.